Effie had a great big, loving heart
Neighbors thought she was a pea brain
The joke around town was that she didn't have
Enough sense to get out of the rain

Though more than a little bit eccentric
Her actions sometimes appeared strange
Effie didn't give a hoot what people thought
Heck, she was the one who was sane

So, what if she had a houseful of pets
And her place looked like a petting zoo?
She had fun with her furry, feathered friends
And did just what she wanted to do

One year, Effie bought herself a piglet
To fatten up for Fall and Winter meals
She could almost taste that smoking ham
Ah, the sausage and chitlins and jowls

For a pig, old Percy was pretty smart
And it didn't take him long to get wise
Knowing he'd soon be Effie's main course
That little pig began to exercise

He'd stay alive as long as he didn't get fat
This was one pig that wouldn't get burned
So he entertained Effie and even her pets
By doing all the funny tricks he'd learned

The bird in the derby put in his two cents
And so did the salivating dog
But no matter how hungry poor old Effie got
She knew she couldn't butcher that hog

Thanksgiving Day dawned cold and clear
And the kitchen cupboards were bare
She looked at all the hungry little pets
Then at the pig with the horrified stare

With a heavy heart but an empty stomach
Poor Effie knew what she had to do
She boiled a big kettle of water on the stove

And
made
them
each
a
bowl
of
ketchup
stew

Kathleen McCoy EldridgeŠ
November 8, 2007
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