Very early on Saturday morning
I got dressed and headed for the beach
Then settled down for a day of fun
All my snacks set out within reach

I thought I looked good in my bathing suit
And everything seemed to be going swell
When a snot-nosed kid pointing at me
Said, "Hey, Ma, look at that whale!"

I'm the first to admit I've gained some weight
And added quite a few pounds to my girth
But it's sure no fun to be compared
To the biggest mammal on earth

I saw floaters, swimmers, waders and divers
Decked out in goggles, tanks and flippers
A woman sat under a huge beach umbrella
With watchful eyes on her little nipper

Minding my business, enjoying the day
Eating the goodies I had bought and made
Imagine my astonishment when I noticed
Seven people cooling in my shade

I sat there reading and sunning myself
Till my whole front side started to bake
So I rolled myself over onto my belly
And that was when I made my mistake

Falling asleep and waking up much later
I had a hard time getting my breath
I discovered I was covered from head to toe
With sand and thought I'd met my death

I started yelling and people started digging
And before long, I was mostly sand free
Totally embarrassed, one of the diggers said
Some kids were playing with their toys on me

My day at the beach was no day at the beach
Seems like everything that could went wrong
I'll show those snooty, beautiful people
Next week, I'll wear my new thong

Kathleen McCoy EldridgeŠ
March 19, 2007
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