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I'M ON ANOTHER DIET
I WAS IN WAL-MART BUYING A LARGE BAG
OF PURINA FOR JOE & WAS IN LINE TO CHECK OUT. A WOMAN BEHIND ME ASKED
IF I HAD A DOG...DUH! I WAS FEELING A BIT CRABBY SO ON IMPULSE, I
TOLD HER NO, I WAS STARTING THE PURINA DIET AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T BECAUSE I'D ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL LAST TIME, BUT THAT I'D
LOST 50 LBS. BEFORE I AWAKENED IN AN ICU W/TUBES COMING OUT OF ME &
IV'S IN BOTH ARMS.
HER EYES ABOUT BUGGED OUT OF HER
HEAD. I WENT ON & ON W/THE BOGUS DIET STORY & SHE WAS TOTALLY BUYING
IT. I TOLD HER THAT IT WAS AN EASY, INEXPENSIVE DIET & THAT THE WAY
IT WORKS IS TO LOAD YOUR POCKETS OR PURSE W/PURINA NUGGETS & SIMPLY
EAT 1 OR 2 EVERY TIME YOU FEEL HUNGRY. THE PACKAGE SAID THE FOOD IS
NUTRITIONALLY COMPLETE SO I WAS GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN. I HAVE TO
MENTION HERE THAT PRACTICALLY EVERYONE IN THE LINE WAS BY NOW
ENTHRALLED W/MY STORY, PARTICULARLY A TALL GUY BEHIND HER.
HORRIFIED, SHE ASKED IF SOMETHING IN
THE DOG FOOD HAD POISONED ME & WAS THAT WHY I ENDED UP IN THE
HOSPITAL? I SAID NO...I'D BEEN SITTING IN THE STREET SCRATCHING FOR
FLEAS & CLEANING MYSELF WHEN A CAR HIT ME.
I THOUGHT THE TALL GUY WAS GOING TO
HAVE TO BE CARRIED OUT THE DOOR HE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD.
SMILE!
:-)
Lord, give me a sense of humor,
Give me the grace
to see a joke,
to get some humor
out of life,
and diminish results of strife.
Amen.
<><
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